I've got three offshoot stories for this one, because there's three ways envy works. First off is what I call competitive encouragement. Second is that bitchy kind of jealous that turns people green. Then there's the third; misinterpreted jealousy.
Competitive Encouragement.
I've been in extreme competitive sports all of my life; dancing, gymnastics, swimming, snowboarding and riding. And there's one thing that you have to accept to be good at any of them. There's always going to be someone better than you, no matter what. This past October, I got the once in a lifetime chance to go to the World Equestrian Games in Kentucky. For a horse person, this is it. This is where you want to ride. Better than the Rolex Three Day or The Olympics or McClay or anything. This one place right here can make or break you. I saw all of those riders. They made me look like a little kid on a quarter-for-a-ride pony. But I didn't hate on them. I LOVED them. I envy where they are. But I respect them for it. They are the ones who push me to be better. No, I don't want to be like them. Because no one should ever make you feel like you want to be someone else, but I want to have their respect like they have mine. I want to make the best BETTER.
Being Green; and not the Eco-friendly way.
About a month ago I got a new job as a stable hand at a hunter-jumper barn. If you ride horses you know that the rivalry between hunter-jumpers and eventers is huge. And yes, I'm an eventer. After two weeks on the job I was granted privileges to start training my boss's ex-racehorse, as well as start riding a boarders horse. It was insane. How did I get these privileges? Well, because I'm nice to people, and I know what I'm doing. But there's a stable hand who also works there who isn't so nice. I'm always polite to people when I meet them. But the first thing she ever said to me was through yelling and in a condescending manner. She didn't agree with something I'd done. Which I understand, we're all different. Like my family says; you're entitled to your opinion, even when it's wrong. But the point is, I think it's jealousy. Because when I was riding and loving the boarders horse, she glared at me. The entire time. I couldn't believe it! I worry sometimes about how much I say on here, because I never know who reads it. but at the same time, it's all true.
Misinterpretation.
A few days ago, my boyfriend asked me the most painful question I've heard in a long time. We were planning for an amazing prom night together. But now he wants to go to a different prom with someone else a different weekend with his "friend". He claimed she just had a bad breakup and was trying to be a good friend. If she was a good friend, shed know he had a girlfriend and wouldn't expect him to go with her. Whatever. But the point is, everyone I talked to thought I was jealous. I'm not jealous of her at all. I know he loves me. She doesn't matter. I was mad that he'd even think about diminishing the importance of OUR prom night. Also, jealousy is sometimes used to describe your feelings when you aren't fond of someone else. Just because you don't like someone that may have something (or someone) that you don't , doesn't mean that you're jealous of them.
I end with this; jealousy tears people apart. But when it gets in your way, just remember that there are so many different kinds of jealousy, and you cannot simply jump to conclusions.
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