College.

I think part of the typical American Dream is to get a good education. I've maintained a GPA of 3.8 throughout highschool so far, taking as many Honors/AP courses as possible. And like every other kid, I wanna go to college.

I've been thinking for the longest time about where I want to go. Of course Ohio State University was in my top 5. But the only thing is that I wanna go somewhere. My whole family has stayed in Ohio since we came here from Greece two generations ago. I wanna get out. Sure, I have family down south in the Carolinas and in Florida; hence my hick-ish accent before moving to the North.

I've looked at colleges all over, but I'd really like to stick to the east coast. I've thought about USC and U of MD College Park and some of the colleges Georgia has to offer. Also in my options have been Cornell, Harvard and Yale. It's just all such a huge decision.

Next year, I will begin taking classes at the University of Minnesota as a PSEO(Post Secondary Education Option) Student. However I don't want to stick around here, either.

Right now I have three priorities in finding a college.

First off is riding. I don't care what I do in life as long as I reach my goals in being a good rider. I want to go to France in 2014 and see all of my favorite athletes ride. And maybe in 2022 or 2026, I'll get there too. The problem with riding is that it's so much different than most sports. Almost any sport has a prime age of between 20 and 30. Some of the best riders in the world don't reach their prime until their forties, but usually not until their fifties. Hell, Pat Parelli is one of the best known around and he's gettin' up there.

Second is my other goal in life. I want to travel and learn languages and submerse myself in every culture possible. Yesterday, while sitting at my desk taking off my makeup I tuned in to the chronic drone of my television that always sits propped up on it's shelf glowing. It was all about National Geographic photographers. Hell, I love photography. He doesn't, but I do. Here are my goals in finding a career...
1. I want to have money. Not necessarily so I can splurge on a new Prada purse every day or to dine like Audrey Hepburn, but I'd like to be stable. I want to have horses and maybe someday have kids and be able to give them everything that will help them to be successful.
2. I want to make a difference in someones life. I've been in and out of the hospital for years. And the scariest part for me has always been the IV that's shoved into my brachial artery. Not just because of the needle that seems as long as my hand, but because of that immediate feeling of helplessness. Your eyelids become heavy and you can't control anything. And before you know it you're out. I've always had to force myself to trust that the anesthesiologist knows what they're doing. That's why I want to be that doctor. I want to put people at ease. I've had so many doctors make an impact on my life, and I want to keep that energy going. Even if I don't become a doctor, I wanna help someone.
3.I want to be happy. So many people get into careers thinking they'll love it, but they end up getting burnt out. Take for example; teachers, ER docs, paramedics, therapists; they're all done with loving their job. I want to love my job forever. This is why I always said I'd never go to college for anything equine related, even though horses are my passion.


And last on my list is him. He thinks I freak out too much, but I'm hoping he doesn't read this, because I don't think he cares enough to deeply read through all of this babbling. Even though it could help him out someday.... Regardless, I'm scared to death. I'm madly madly in love with him. Like no one will ever know. And I know that I am. I've had tons of guys I thought I truly loved before, but nothing like this. He's only a year my elder. But the thought of him graduating and going on to college tears me up inside. He's so smart. And he's even told me he's smarter than me. Okay, fine. I'll deal. He thinks I'm just a stupid little kid. I can handle that. But also the fact that I don't think he truly ever thinks about our future. I want him to go to college and be happy. But I know damn well that he can't say no to a lot of things he'll be exposed to in college. I'm also worried about the fact that he's pretty mellow. I feel like he'll want to stick around his family, where he was born and raised. Now, I'm sorry. But I don't give a flying fuck how close you are to your family. You need to get out! You need to see the world. I know so many people who regret staying in the nest. They wish they would've gotten out. Okay... sorry. I'm getting off topic. It scares me that he looks at all these colleges that I'll probably never even consider. I want him to be happy and successful... but I'd really like to be a part of it. I'll be in college for 4, 8 maybe 10 or 12 years. And I want him to be with me for every part of it. And there's no way I can handle long distance that long.. No fucking way.