To Eat, or Not to Eat.

Human nature is to consume everything in sight just for the rush you can feel when you tear through it with your teach and let your taste buds tell your brain you're enjoying it. Then to have it slide into your stomach and be forgotten. Forgotten that is until you step on the scale, or try to get into ass-tight jeans. Or when you're heavier than half of your male friends. 

While a recent post discussed how average my weight is, I still decided that no one cares what the doctors say, just what the scale says. 

Well, I only ate half of breakfast and broke my lunch up into small meals throughout the day. I ate a bagel for dinner at about 15:30. And that was it. It feels kinda good. To not eat. Im growing used to the empty feeling in my stomach and the lightheadedness. It puts you into a whole new world, hunger does. But I'd still rather not eat. I can almost talk to the moans my stomach makes. It's like a game. It wants, and I tease it with a little food and it moans out again later when I don't give it enough. But right now I'm winning. Maybe I'm doing it for me, maybe I'm not. Some might call it dumb, but we'll see how long it lasts. I may be sick of it tomorrow or I may keep going until I'm sick and they have to force feed me. I don't intend for the level of extremity to come out of this. I only want to feel good enough for him, since I'm not as I am. He's better looking than me and in much better shape and a much more talented athlete (well, maybe) and probably has got more money than me. I don't know why I want to seem good enough. But I won't fake anything. I'll get in better shape and get prettier. And maybe someday I'll have lots of money. But who knows? I sure don't.