22

I've been feeling exceptionally low in the self esteem department lately. Mostly because of how chubby I feel. While I realise that I'm not the skinniest thing, let me clarify. While going through a depressiong during my freshman year of highschool, I gained about 30 pounds. And now, no matter what I do, I can't keep it off. In the summer I worked out daily and didn't lose one pound; all while eating healthy food. I can't win. At all.

Out of curiosity I used multiple websites as a reference for my healthy weight. I'm 15 years old and approximately 5'10" or 5'11". I entered my weight and came out with a BMI score of 22.Normal weight is between 18.5 and 24.9. Overweight is between 25 and 29.9. And obese is 30 or greater.So such it mother fu.... nevermind.

Anyway. I'm not overweight, I'm just not the skinniest person alive. While a 16 month long depression or no methods of weight loss working is an excuse, I still can't seem to get over the fact that I feel huge .

I'm not looking for people to say "Awhh honey you're not fat..." or anything like it. All I'm saying is, no one is perfect.

Also, I hate the fact that guys are just magically skinny. If you could live in a girls body for a week , you'd never want to eat again. Unfortunately, I don't have the will power to just not eat. And even at that, it probably wouldn't work. With my luck, I'd gain a few pounds. It sucks to feel huge around every guy who isn't 6'5". But unfortunately I'll just have to suck it up and deal. Or figure out how to loose some weight.